Having Tea With My Sisters...

http://www.havingteawithmysisters.com/

YOU enjoy my blogs ??? YOU will looooove my book *wink*

Absolute Best Regards!
Author: Pamella Coffey

Echoes...

echoes in the chamber of our heart

has there ever been a time when you knew it was best to end a relationship but the words "I love you".. "I'm sorry".. "I need you".. "It won't happen again".. "It was a mistake; will you forgive me".. "You're the ONE I love".. "I'll try harder".. "We belong together".. etc, etc, etc.. kept echoing in the chamber of your heart over And over And over again?.. And somehow those words were on playback for several months or even years.. .. somehow that bond had been broken And there was an obvious disconnect.. .. somehow "I love you" just wasn't enough anymore?.. Have you gotten to place - yet - where you realize it takes more than love?.. ||A connection is Awesome ||Um good chemistry is Fabulous WHEN you combine |/love |/a good connect |/and fabulous chemistry.. you're own your way BUT you hav2 to know that there's STILL work.. .. .. a work that takes two willing partners!.. daaaaats IF a committed relationship is what you're looking for.. IF not "carry on" BUT here's a suggestion: save yourself for someone who is worthy - don't haphazardly give your love away!.. it's much too precious *wink* 

I know.. I know.. some of you may look at me as an old-fogey-stogie *lol* 
well.. first.. "I'm not" *lol* but really, one of the simplest truths I can share with you is when you truly know how to love yourself - you will better know how to love others And discern who is worthy And deserving of your love.. it's knowing your love is a 'precious' gift !!! it's notA offering or donation !!!.. .. you hold on to it until the Receiver is worthy of such a gift.. .. .. .. EVEN with the occasional slip\mistake - KNOW - your self worth      

I certainly haven't given up on love *unt uh NEVER* I simply slam the door on heartache !!! And then I just walk away *double wink* haha

All you need is a whisper ~~~~ > "I love myself".. add some reverb to that And it will drown out all that other nonsense*lol* it seems we sometimes waste too much time on empty words broken promises And shallow intent. I've said - a million times - I believe loving someone And having someone love you back is a beautiful thing; it's yummy; eat it up *smile* it's the NOT really knowing how to love ourselves THAT is the bigger issue.

Divinely effortless!

thankful the totality of my truth is not found in the words of another; my beauty is not shown solely inA mirror; my joy is not contingent on circumstance; my peace is not realized only in certain environments... ... ...  And my love is endless. yep!.. thankful to my Creator

when we are divinely connected with who we Are - our actions behavior And conversation is rarely forced... ... ... RATHER it is divinely effortless.

to the abused child :: the awkward tween ** the insecure teen ** the impulsive young adult ** the unstable adult (at certain times I've been each of the above) please know with all certainty that though you did not write the beginning of your story... you Are, most certainly, the author And publisher of the end!... ... ... leave behind a good quality of LIFE leaving precious nuggets scattered along your way :: knowledge, good judgment, An open window of insightfulness And truth... ... ... receiving And offering the gift of love compassion And understanding. I encourage you to encourage the young girl who seems to be full of anger; the young lady who has a heavy heart; the adult who is full of disappointment(s); the elderly woman who is all alone... a simple act that could saveA life *smile* someone is looking forA word *believe it*

Staying true to me!

1."Whenever I feel A waver in my character - I simply stiffen my spin"

2."I carry Integrity with me as I would saaaaay my lipstick & photo ID"

These are two of my favorite personal quotes And they serve as constant reminders... I've learned that sometimes we have to 'speak A word' to ourselves!.. I believe spoken words coupled with - forward - progressive actions And positive precepts  =  A lifestyle layered with opportunities And healthy growth. 

Moving through life... I - And perhaps you as well - have found myself in certain situations... I/we may have been thrust into A foreign and/or dubious environment... there may have been A-time-or-two when we were called upon to give a truthful account of our actions... perhaps we've said something that has been 'called to carpet' because of someone's hurt feelings...

There are open windows of opportunity for us to:: turn our head And look in the other direction; turn a 'deaf ear' to something that was said; maintain a closed mouth - when every inward impulse is urging us speak up And speak out... Doesn't it feel great when we act on these open windows of opportunity in a manner that shines as a staple of integrity? *smilin*

I knooooooow I don't get it all right - all - of time !!! but I'm thankful I am not blinded by self-denial or complacent And comfortable with shallow or stunted mental physical And spiritual growth. I'm even happier I am not bound by indignation or held back by self righteousness - casting a judgmental eye And pointing a judgmental finger... I love the idea of continually working on self And I am so very thankful for the opportunity.

Pamella @PoodleTweeting

Positive Precepts... precious priceless dynamic And undeniable

As full grown woman SOME of us occasionally look to be reminded that we are unique complex And beautiful in our own individual right. And we are - all of that - Each of us! 

But, take a second to think about this, if we sometimes find ourselves looking for reassurance And affirmation... imagine how confused lost And uncertain SOME of our daughters nieces, And the younger generation as a whole, are.

I mean IF we as mothers aunts etc., don't realize how precious priceless dynamic And undeniable we are, how can we expect the young-ins to know who And what they are? 

We're surprised when we see them putting value on big behinds thick thighs And large breast... And - yes - all of that is lovely - BUT shouldn't she know that it's her inner development that truly determines her self worth?.. Priceless!

And as not to offend anyone, I'm certain many of us already realize this (I mean I'm not blogging about anything any sensible woman don't already know) BUT we must question THEN why - IF there ARE so many of us who "already know this" - do we have so many of our youth who are uncertain of who they are || of how they should present themselves || of what their true value really is || or what direction they should go?.. And I'm speaking of a multitude not just 1 or 2.

- We shake our heads when we see them 'Twerk' (sensually dancing)

- We cover our mouth point our finger And whisper when we see them scantily dressed

  

Rather than sit in judgment of what we think is improper - wouldn't it be more productive to enrich a young girls life?.. Do you have the desire to let one two three, OR MORE, know they are precious jewels?.. Wouldn't you much rather wrap them with words of loving kindness And say to them "You are beautiful"... "May I teach you how to better love yourself"... "You are amazing; let's direct your thoughts And actions toward a substanial future"... "the love you're searching for - must first be realized - inside of you - not simply in a mirror" ... ... ...

I am primarily concerned withA solution (I lay judgement and finger pointing aside) I welcome the opportunity to communicate - love - through action, deed, verbal And written expression *smile*

"Each one Teach one"... An old African Proverb that can certainly be reintroduced And utilized today *smile* IF you too havA voice And desire to share, leave your comment here, or hit me up @PoodleTweeting     "Effective communication in love" Poodle


Excerpt "Having Tea with My Sisters"
"It is absolutely imperative that we initiate a positive developmental pattern, in our youth, instilling a certain level of morality and positive precepts in our sons, daughters, and younger generation as a whole. Our children are our future – a cliché – but true nonetheless..."

SB: THIS post was Inspired by Jada Pinkett-Smith

GET comfy with yourself SO you can be comfortable with others!

Because I choose to love 'freely' does not mean I choose to love 'frivolously' it simply means I choose to be open to that agape wondrous - easy - type of love *smile*

I'm perplexed - honestly - why do we find it easier to dislike or have disdain for another because they look different?.. we turn up our top lip because they dress differently... we throw our nose in the air because they think or believe differently... we snicker And whisper because they talk differently... we mock them because their behavior is different. Why? Geeze. 

IT stems from insecurity... Don't hinder yourself... Don't allow yourself to operate in insecurity. Get comfortable with - who you are - so you can be comfortable with who THEY are!.. that other crap is old And tiring... Life is all about choice - choose to move forward *wink*

Call me a modern day flower child IF you will BUT I find it much easier to spread love not hate!.. And then - I just keep it movin' *double wink*

grace mercy And maturity...

I woke this morn... THANKFUL for adding another year of LIFE to my date of birth :: 20th April ::
I tweeted (@PoodleTweeting) something that resonated very well with me... so much so that I thought I would blog simple And sweet, today, communicating that same message *smilin'*



"grace mercy And maturity gently hands us the opportunity to say simple things like "I apologize"... "I understand"... "I forgive you"... "I was wrong | you were right"... "I love you"... And I must say... I am thankful And grateful for the opportunity... I've learned that every day above ground is an added day of opportunity #thankful poodle

I love my Kinky hair!

 
Okay! So my hair is thick And it’s a little kinky

- what you don't realize is - these locs… THESE Curls... hold decades of African Culture & history.

Since you don’t know maybe I outta tell you so

   I‘m a queen - And you - you are a king

   It's my praises you should sing.

Extol Me... ... You I will raise high… high Black above the sky

The young Black mind needs to be trained,

The intellect refined

Worthy of love... of elevation

Not ignorance demoralization or humiliation

We must learn to invigorate and stimulate wealth and Power of the mind.

            Wait a minute *shhh* Listen...

 :: a person or thing having great influence, force, or authority
 :: Power defined

Love me your Sister… ... Admire my wide spread eyes and beautiful brown skin. Tarin me down should be a sin... ... ... Let the love you have for a sister - all sisters - be positively communicated

                                                                      partial Excerpt: "Having Tea with My Sisters"

Technology ||The illusion of b'g connected...

There, at one time, was the notional idea that technology could keep us ALL connected. How brilliant!.. Really. It was!.. And it Does... :: or :: Does it?

Online social network(s) like: Facebook | Twitter | Linkedin | my[------]space | Google + etc

I am connected to all, but one, of the sites listed... Aaaaand I must say, each site (in addition to many others) do an incredible job of keeping US connected - And THEY make A heap of money - doing so *wink to all the folks who've become rich because of online social networks* 

Personally I am overjoyed when I'm able to connect with A family member, via fb etc, who has perhaps migrated hundreds of miles away (or vise versa) and/or has not attended a family event in years... classmates who I've not seen, or spoken to, since high school college And; SOME as far back as; grammar school... former church members... childhood friends... Ex boyfriends... And the list goes on ~

I think initially many of us feel the same way... ... ... we get excited; endorphin levels are raised... ... ... And we start pecking away at our keyboards = peck peck peck peck Ping peck peck peck* we start sharing a barrage of comments | pics | well wishes... we send shout out(s) And internet xo's... we exchange home & cellphone #'s... some of us make plans to see each other face2face And look forward to the opportunity to exchange real conversation... we plan lunch dates, dinner dates, And reply "yes" or "maybe" to online invites... ... ... And then - often times - that's all it turns out to be... ... ... a "plan" WITH GOOD INTENTIONS... ... ... an idea or notion that was formulated And put in motion but hijacked with no real follow thru or effort... SOMETIMES communication is slowed or, somehow, stopped... ... ... And then - we are further updated - through statuses, online pics, And flyers in our online news feeds -- phone calls are not exchanged -- our planned outings are rescheduled, post-phoned, or they just never happen *sigh* And you know; well; life goes on *deeper sigh* lol

"k.i.t = keep it touch" was scribbled in the back of year books, on class ribbons, on the backs of pictures And hand written letters... Um *clearing my throat* but for ole schoolers, like me,  k.i.t has been upgraded to :: 

bb4N = bye bye for now
imy = I  miss you
hmll = hit my line later
tml = text me later
ttys = talk to you soon
lyl = love you later And the list goes on ~

I've learned a connection - virtual or actual - isA connection... I love connecting with people... I've also learned, And I'm personally reminded, that it's THAT *Real *Actual *Tangible connection that is most important. We just have to put forth the effort to maintain one *wink wink* double wink  poodle

He was my Mountain | He is STILL my yardstick

Who was he?.. my father... And the 1st love of my life...
He had such A strong resolve And virility... he was my Mountain... he had A solid seat of consciousness... And A sound awareness of self... he is my Yardstick

My mother had a tragic end to her life!.. ... ...
Among family And friends - she left behind A husband {my dad} two teenage children {my older brother & sister}And three small children {my twin my baby brother And me}

I've learned there's nothing like the love A mother has for her child!.. I've also learned No child should grow up without their mother!

My father raised us - primarily - as a widower... he raised us with A very firm hand And pretty strict family values And guidelines... I've learned my father played A dominant role in my life... he was as powerful, to me, as President Obama is to Malia, Sasha, And our nation... I've learned my stance... the decisions I've made And my positioning in the world came from my father!

I've come to realize without the nurturing the care And the love I received from my mother, the few years she was with us, I would not fully understand how I should nurture care And love my children.

I dare not stand in judgement of others!.. I've learned there is a 'bend' in every road at some point of the journey!

I've learned that no one knows my story... no one has taken my journey... And no one can tell my story better than I can... but ONE of the most important things I've learned, And I pass on to my children, is :: um :: because I don't know your story... And because I know you Are the only one who can tell it... I dare not stand in judgement of your decisions.

prayer & well wishes will fill an open mouth... And A mouthful prayer & well wishes is much more nourishing than a mouthful of judgement.

I've come to realize my mother laid the foundation of love... And in her absence my father cultivated it... MORE importantly I realize my socialization {my personal identity - my very on do's & don'ts} THOUGH they were not established by my dad - they were definitely secured - by him. He is still my yardstick And every measure of a man.

Thankful to my Creator!.. he decided who my mom & dad would be before I was even conceived. Poodle

'when I thought asA child"

"when I was a child - I thought as a child"... Reflecting < - - - - back

Q: will you take a moment, this morning, press pause just for A second to reflect back?... 
Q: can you remember A time when you were Innocent... Eager... Open... Imaginative... Uninhibited... Pure... Original... Trusting... Free... Precious




* A time when dad said "Come on... jump son... I'll catch you" And you jumped without hesitation?... Trusting

* A time when mom allowed you to dress yourself And you put on your favorite pajama top | a pair of cut-off jeans | And your "just around the house" tutu?... Original

* A time (well before THIS time) when you And your best friend became blood-sisters by pricking the tips of your forefingers?... Uninhibited  

* A time when you randomly ran through the neighbor's water sprinkler OR splashed A puddle just for the heck of it?... Free

* A time when you took pause to count the number of claps inA thunderstorm OR gaze up And take note of a clouds formation?... Carefree

* A time when you raced home to present your mother with a fistful of daisies you had just picked from the neighborhood park?... Precious

* A time when your mind raced!.. to think of the correct answer to the question your teacher had just asked because you wanted to be the 1st to raise your hand?... Eager

* A time when you were the host @ your own private tea party - And your stuffed animals were your guest?... Imaginative

* A time when you covered your ears squinted And recoiled when you heard an adult using profanity?... Pure

* Can you remember A time when you noticed all the colors in A rainbow?... Open Present & Aware

The above mentions may not, in any way, be similar to any of your childhood experiences... ... ... I would like to encourage you to connect with the descriptive word - not necessarily - the descriptive act (content OVER context)... connecting or reconnecting with our natural state of mind is A refreshing state of BEing early in the morn *smile* SOME are tired And heavy laden; it's nice to have a reminder... A dose of something positive with our morning cup of coffee or tea *wink* make it a remarkable day!  Poodle

Forgiveness\

I am not all knowing... BUT

I am happy the Succession of LIFE affords me the opportunity to learn And SOMETIMES relearn (I'll blame that on the Taurus in me) 
to occasionally think And rethink things... it affords me the opportunity to love outside of comfort... it encourages me to expand instead of escape... it gives me the desire to restore that - that has been damaged...

I've learned to forgive myself... Yes Sirrrr!.. I believe it's equally as important as forgiving others.

I've learned sometimes we must put forgiveness to work... WHEN confronted with the actual act of forgiving... I mean when we (me forgiveness & unforgiveness) were right there face2face... ... ... there wasA situation... in that moment... there I was... silently questioning ???... I had to check myself...

I've learned - I mean - there came A time when I suddenly And surprisingly; had to search, question, contemplate, And genuinely consider??? "Have I really forgiven?"..."Wow. Can I?"

I've learned it is easier to say... ... ... "I forgive you" or "I forgive but I will not forget" "I love you but I choose to love you from a distance" or "Okay, let's move forward"... ... ... I can personally tell you... ... ... it's putting that thing to work that is the Real test... that rethinking & relearning... expanding instead of escaping... it's that loving outside of comfort!.. 

I've learned it's A #lifetime not just A moment... poodle

Living on Purpose...

I am convinced 'my purpose' was not to be birthed into this world "drawing the breath of life" 
to simply muddle through life with no consciousness... offering nothing And giving nothing back... taking withdrawals And leaving no deposit...

I am further convinced, as I pass thru this lifetime, I am to do so with *passion *compassion *enthusiasm *joy *love (Yes... love is a definite) leaving nuggets as I pass thru!

MOST important, FOR ME, is to connect with my FULL purpose... breath life into it And put it to work *fyi* I'm on that short journey now *smilin'* *ijs*

SB: There are some who think certain forms of giving to be foolish: 'time' to those who have made mistakes... 'tithe' to ministry... 'blood' to the blood banks.. 'funds' to the destitute... 'food' to the needy... 'love' to the loveless... It is my humble opinion, however, that any form of 'sustenance giving' is an unselfish act of humanity & spirituality!.. I am THANKFUL to have the mindset And consciousness to want to give SOMETHING back (in whatever form) And I welcome the energy that is released & returned when doing so #karma

Please DO NOT be tricked into thinking we simply live And then we die!.. tho realistically that is a simple truth... the truth that is not so simple is the living (giving) we do - in between - And the substance of the deposit we leave behind *smile*
Thank You Creator! poodle

my brother | Bruce Lee | And me...

Ok. So I know life - the course of development - And the interrelation of technology is continually propelling us in a forward progression... it is, as they say, the way of the world but I have to tell you... I miss many of the simple particulars of my youth.

- I miss the time when"call-waiting" was not an added feature on your telephone line... I mean IF one of our teachers was calling with a bad report... my siblings and I could tie the phone line up all evening *wink* All the caller would get, on the other end, was a busy signal
- I miss the time when you could see a loved one OFF by walking them all the way to the airline departure gate... parting with a big dose of love And a farewell hug & kiss
- I miss the old fashion ice cream trucks... the ones with the crackling music blaring over the loud speakers... you know the ones with fountain ice cream... Yum!.. Um reflecting back - it probably wasn't the most sanitary way to distribute ice cream (particularly on hot summer days) but WE all survived *lol*
- I miss the sound of children playing outside... simple games like: hop-scotch | catch a girl-kiss a girl | double dutch | jacks | south ball on the street corner...
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My brother and I were talking the other day; reminiscing about a time when he almost broke my nose *lol* OK so... our family (well over 200 of us) were all preparing for our family's yearly picnic (my dad, his siblings, And a huge host of nieces & nephews, extended cousins, and so on) somehow several of our cousins ended up at our house... there we all were... sitting around *NO cell phones* joking, laughing, *NO cable television*And shooting the breeze *NO laptops NO Xbox* at this time my older brother (Lamarr) was going through his 'Bruce Lee' phase... he even had homemade nun-chucks to boot... in the midst of the laughter And chatter, my brother started showing off his SELF learned techniques; he would karate chop here - karate chop there - And then pose in his Bruce Lee karate stance... after a couple minutes of prancing around - And I guess wanting to show off a bit more - he came up with the idea of using me as a stunt dummy... 

- Lamarr: "Pam" he said... "come here"
- Me: "noooooooooo" *laughing* I didn't know what he had in mind BUT I knew I wanted no part of it *lbvs*
- Lamarr: "Come on... just stand here And hold still" he grabbed And gently - yet forcibly - pulled me to the middle of the floor "I won't hurt you" he said... ... ... ... as he heisted his pant leg and positioned himself in his stance And put his face on (Bruce Lee infamous stare & finger swipe to nose)
- Me: "NO Lamarr" (slowly backing away) "nooo"... ... my "no" was abruptly interrupted by a quick heal-to-nose

My head flew backwards... And just like the ole school cartoons WHEN some animated cat or mouse (I'm thinking of Tom & Jerry) got clunked upside the head And an immediate knot formed... I could feel the knot rising atop my nose... the room filled with a roar of laughter... baby brother, my twin sister, And our cousins were falling over with laughter... Instantly my brother ran to me (he nor I were laughing) hugged me tightly apologizing And pleading with me not to tell our dad (it was an accident after all)... Please!.. I broke free And ran downstairs - straight to daddy... lol... So many years later, it is hilarious Aaaaaand it's something to 'well remember' *smilin'* simple things... good times.

Your next family event - or the next time you're in a coffee shop or diner... almost everyone will likely have their heads buried in their cell phones and/or laptops. Somehow the advances in technology are interrupting And stripping us of the natural comradery of our loved ones. Just my humble opinion of course *wink* 

the little girl And the 'white' Carnation...

                                                                Disclaimer:  This is simply the mention of a young girls experience

She cringed as she walked toward the large wooden church doors... her knobby knees trembled... her tiny legs felt weak beneath her.

Her hair was pulled back into a long ponytail; pink cotton ribbon to fasten... pink polyester skirt suite; white button up blouse... white nylon knee highs & black patent leather shoes. 

It was that time of year. Mothers Day.

Hate is a strong word BUT she did... She hated this day... "Why" you ask?.. "Mothers Day should be one of the most joyous days of the year" you say "it's a day of celebration" WELL here's her story - - > > >

"Here we go again" *she thought*As the church doors swung open - And she And her siblings slowly marched inside... she glanced back to look at them... "Why weren't they dreading the walk to the table?" *she pondered* she quickly turned to glance back again... neither her brother nor her sister seemed to notice the terror in her face... neither of them wore the same expression???

The procession of the line continued... it was moving forward way too fast for the little girl 

The lady, in the powder blue suite, in front of her, dropped her hanky... she bent down to pick it up... There it was... the long wooden table... ONE box full of red carnations - the other full of white... the little girl could see she was next in line *her legs weakened a bit more* 

The Sisters of the church were standing around with big broad smiles greeting folks "Good morning! Welcome to the house of the Lord!"

"Come here baby, let me pin a carnation on you *she adorned a pearly white Crest smile* The Sister bent down a little closer toward the girl... "Now baby... is your mother dead or alive?"

WTH?! the girl knew it was coming BUT it still stung like cold water to an open wound *she felt a bite And a burn*

- An uproarious silence filled the girl's head; her ears were ringing; she stood there motionless for a moment... when she was finally able to quiet the noise And stop the ringing... an urgency to turn And run tugged at her insides. She wanted to but she didn't. She just stood there. 

- 1) lip twist 2) eye roll 3) shoulder shrug *backward* 4) deep stare

- An adult voice behind her spoke out and said "Dead" just like that... ... "Dead" the single word that had ripped the young girl's world apart...

- The Sister's wide Crest smile had been lessened to a tight lip grin... the corners of her mouth now were barely turned up. Slightly taken aback... The Sister quickly reached inside the box And pulled out a white carnation... "Ohhh... baby" she said *slightly above a whisper* "come here... let me pin this on you... come here baby... it's okay... I understand" she said while pinning the white carnation to the girl's pink suite jacket.

- "NO the hell you don't!" *the girl silently shouted* "You don't even know me lady... you don't care that my mommy is gone NEVER to return... you don't care that she has been snatched up And taken from me... FROM US!.. you can't possibly understand how I long to hear the sweet sound of her voice And how I wish I could still feel her warm hugs And gentle kisses... you can't imagine how my world has been tossed flipped And turned upside down... YOU have know idea how I feel lady!" *she silently raged* she stood there lips poked... STIFF as a board... arms straight by her sides.

- AFTER "The Pinning"... the girl turned And tight-roped it to the closest pew... she eased onto the pew wishing she could become invisible *she sat* arms folded tightly .. chin tucked; head bowed *fighting back tears* ALL because of this damn white carnation *still raging*

- She was angry. She didn't like the fact these people - who didn't even know her - now knew TOO much about her... ... They knew she didn't have a mommy. They knew her mother was dead!

- Mid-way through the service when the church folks were all smiling, nodding in agreement with the Pastor's message, hugging the neighbor seated next to them, or following along in passage... she slowly raised her tiny hand to the lapel of her pink suite jacket... crumble the white carnation... unpinned it from her jacket... And as inconspicuously as possible, dropped it to the floor... Ahhhh... she could breath *she exhaled* 

Today, so many years later, that experience has faded but the memory is forever. She can appreciate the celebration of Mothers Day *now being a mother herself* BUT white carnations are still her least favorite flower... And she still feels "The Pinning" to be 'silly tradition' 

Experiences during our formative years move with us through life... it is - we - who decide how we will allow them to influence our future  poodle

Ordinary People... capable of Excellence

Psst!... *in a whisper* Don't be afraid to shine your light in a room that is dimly lit... The brighter The better *wink* 
I'm waiting for IT (your light) Trust... I will stand up And applaud IT... ... Well Wishing others success is a dividend or deposit, IF you will, towards our own success... more importantly - it just feels right!     
                                                                  
Random Thoughts

Fact: We all have area(s) of insecurity *some more than others* BUT we shouldn't operate in them!
Truth: Acknowledgement is 1/2 the battle... Working toward improving self is the other 1/2 *double wink* 

Fact: We are all unique in our own individual right. Yes!.. I love it!
Truth: Which means someone else's opinion of you/me does not define you/me. Nope!

Fact: People don't need a reason to dislike you; SOME just will *smilin*

Opinion mine of course: There are some exceptions - but I think the majority of us start our life journey as ordinary people... that's not to say we; each of us; are not capable of Excellence - I believe it's to the contrary... WE all are capable!.. Many, not all, are simply lazy and/or closed off to the possibility of living a fruitful, full, productive life DESPITE our environment or present position. It's work but it's a rewarding work!.. Life is short... make sure you make a deposit... #Several

NO limits... your flow is Abundant

Psssssst... Don't limit yourself in any area of your life or in your ability to achieve. Without the limitations society or even you yourself may have set... there is absolutely nothing you cannot attain or achieve. Excerpt "Having Tea with My Sisters"

There is such simplicity in that statement... BUT when greeted with the realities of life: when we are no longer within the confines our own comfortable surroundings... when we are without the support of our loved ones - right there - covering our backs and cheering us on... when we are suddenly thrust into a life situation or circumstance that we find to be unsettling... when we are operating in an area that is new or foreign to us... when we are faced with opposition that is relentless and unyielding... when all we have to rely on is SELF... Please know that grace is ever present.. direction is simply for the asking.. And your flow is abundant. 

SB1: In my youth, when doing homework and/or class projects, I discovered I was easily distracted (siblings, life events, television, the radio, friends outside playing softball on the corner of our block, etc etc etc) I trained myself to - when I did lose focus or I was distracted - immediately recenter myself || my thoughts || my actions And concentrate on the subject matter or project at hand... 

Diversions may interrupt or detour BUT we mustn't allow them to Destroy!.. It's pretty sad when that happens!.. 
I can remember picking my son up from school, one spring day, (Simeon high school... we were stopped at a red light 95th Dan Ryan) "Look at him son" I said "Do you think that man aspired, as a child, to one day stand outside in the pouring rain; unkempt; wearing tattered clothing, holding a sign that says *PLEASE FEED THE HUNGRY* ??? No son. He did not. He just got lost along his way... ... ... Be careful where you focus your thoughts, desires, intentions, efforts, And energy."

SB2: Got life challenges that continue to distract disrupt and divert you from positive life change, plans, And goals.. PUT positive in motion. I dare you. I, myself, am happy to 'put in the work' ON self... sometimes A great work... sometimes less of a work. *smile* Poodle

F

I'm nobody's "Ring Girl"...

- "Baby!.. over here.. look ... look at me."
- "No one else could EVER love you as much as I do!"
- "I'm a professional.. I go to work everyday 9-5.. good job | good pay."
- "I cook .. .. .. .. .. .. .. most of the time.. Yes.. I'm a good cook." 
- "You can trust me.. I don't cheat."
- "No.. I'm not a party animal.. I don't club hop."
- "Oh um.. I have a double Master's."
- "My finances are in order.. I have my own home.. my own vehicle.. I'm very responsible."
- "I promise.. I'll be good to you..."
- "Sex so good.. it'll make you wanna slap yo momma OR mine!"
- "Nope.. No kids."
- "Look at me baby *up & down bunny hop* over heeeeeere *bounce bounce bounce* Look at me!!!"

IF you've ever felt you were/are merely a temporary distraction for this man.. IF he makes you feel like he's simply passing the time of day until something better hits his line.. IF you've felt unloved unappreciated and/or mishandled.. IF you've felt unnoticed And unheard.. IF you've been made to feel like you're a "Ring Girl" prancing around an imaginary boxing ring | arms fully extended | scantily dressed | displaying Round Cards highlighting; And continually shouting | proclaiming; each of your attributes.. IF you are constantly giving out And never taking in... ... ... ... Self Worth #know yours

SB: We (men & women) may have a time when we find ourselves lost in an individual.. Don't allow it to be for a lifetime ; )

On The Flip Side - - > > > > However... IF you connect with someone who Inspires you... 

Excerpt "Having Tea with My Sisters" 
"I was happily intoxicated on love and it was reflected positively and productively in my personal and even broader areas of my life: profession, home, social, intimate, and through my writing. If you are fortunate enough to come together with someone who inspires you – you have, in part, a great thing! Use it. Inspiration can propel and motivate us to start and/or complete projects and dreams that have been forgotten or left dormant and unattended for years. In fact, you may be inspired to create new ones."      

the PROCESS...

Maintaining an open willingness to make self-improvement... Being open to And honest with that realization will make us much wiser women. One of our life jobs should be to continually work on self
Not to the point of self-absorbance or over indulgence but by allowing ourselves to welcome and continue self-growth: physically, mentally, and spiritually. Excerpt "Having Tea with My Sisters"


1. self image: the idea, conception, or mental image one has of oneself.

Q: What do you see when you look in the mirror?... Q: What do you think of when you examine yourself?... Q: Is the she you see "picture perfect" when "made-up"?... Q: Is she flawed when undressed ??? 

It is absolutely OK if/when we see cracks underneath our surface!... NO one knows our story BETTER than we do... NO one can tell it as well as we can!... NO one is fully aware of our journey!... ... ... ... the peaks And, at times, the rocky roads... ... ... the hills... the valleys And mountain tops... our rivulet of joy And, at times, the steady stream of pain... ALL people see is what we put out!... Shouldn't we want to "put out" something; THEN; that, even IF, flawed is genuine?... I DO!... soooooo for life... I continue the process: Keeping it Real while Working on Self   *hehe* poodle

sb: THANKFUL my Creator renews a Right spirit IN me

power of the mind is what's REALLY phat!

 "... ... ... I’ll let you think you have left me behind... I ain't coming at you with a gun or a knife. I’m coming at you with the power of my mind." partial Excerpt: "Having Tea with My Sisters"

Q & A
Q: Have you worked in an environment or found yourself in a social setting where you overheard comments and/or conversations that were prejudice and unfavorable to a certain race or social group of people?... Q: Have you witnessed treatment that was unfair | improper | inflexible | unjust?...

IF yes Q: In those moments did you feel an urgency to speak up/out?... Q: Did you feel a slight race in your heart... a flicker... a rush... a light sweat to your brow?... Q: Did you restrain yourself?... Q: Did you quiet that inner voice?... Q: Did you turn a deaf ear to your humanity and morality?... Q: *your breath. bated.* Did you inhale And swallow your words in a slow gulp?... were your words passed BACK down your throat instead of out your mouth?... Q: Did you silence that conscience man who was right at the brink of saying something as simple as "I disagree" OR "That's not right"?...

IF yes Q: Did you hold your tongue because you thought it ALL (the environment, the situation, the people) inexorable?... Q: Did you think, perhaps, your voice would not be heard; or were you afraid, perhaps, it would be!?

A: I have... And um 98% percent of the time - my inner voice spoke up/out... it's that 2% percent that I had to contend with. #Inexcusable #Period
A: @ a time I supervised 6-7 men; primarily minorities; I witnessed and overheard things that left suuuuch a bad taste in my mouth. There came a time (several) when I had to speak out; not just because I too am considered a minority; but also because these negative types of behaviors should be disallowed. Period.
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Q: Have you witnessed something in your own cultural environment that you knew was wrong?... i.g., A hand in the pocket or pocketbook of another passenger on the bus... Q: Have you reluctantly silently nodded in agreement with a statement that was bias toward a guiltless individual?... Q: Have you mocked the behaviors (all in fun) of another race or group of people?

IF yes Q: Why?... Q: Did you experience peer pressure @ the ripe old age of 35?... Q: Did you miss your moment to speak - And felt a resurgence, of a conversation you were already uncomfortable with, would be a bit too challenging?...

A: I have... 98 perhaps 99% of the time I spoke up/out... it's that 1 or 2% percent that I had to contend with #SELFexamination #CHECKyourself
A: I was on public transportation (13-14 yrs of age) and I witnessed a "pick-pocket" caaaarefully going into the pocketbook of a middle-aged woman. I wanted to yell to the woman. I wanted to scream "ma'am he has his hand in your purse" I sat there; on the edge of my seat; And held my  tongue until he had left the bus. I then eased from my seat And softly said "ma'am that man who was standing, here, beside you... the one who just got off the bus... Yes ma'am him... He had his hand in your purse."

Reflecting and And pulling my own coattail ; )            *Effective Communication In Love* 

piece of the American pie || YOUR dream...

Many of us, at some point in our lives; even if fleeting; have desired that picture perfect lifestyle And obtaining a piece of the American pie... THAT picture perfect image of the type of life we should live. Well, in my humble opinion, it's just that... an "image" !!! ... ...

Remember, each pie, And the hands that prepared the pie, is different, each pie is sliced up differently And each slice will be proportionally different...
Your dream, though it may be the general consensus, is not my dream... just as my dream is not your dream... Excerpt:"Having Tea with My Sisters"

Living a full complete happy life is truly our purpose! I dare not try to live anyone else's.

footer: Some of us start with a dream... others create our dream as we move thru life... live love and BE happy... ... I'm my happiest when I'm co-creating, with my Creator, ... something that is thought to be impossible - into the possible\ poodle

Pamella ‏@PoodleTweeting

never sign up4 someone else's dream b4 committg to your own no matter how good the sale. NO ones dream shouldB bigger than your own #Experience

I loved him\...

After our time has passed and we are, for the moment, no more

 … our bodies no longer entwined.

And even after the earth has rotated twice around the scope of the moon... Yep. 2 times...

 When I inhale – I inhale you.

Before – when we were yet still together

And as I sought to please And in-turn received pleasure

Then is when I did – And I did so purposely.

I took a breath, And inhaled…

 I could smell the most intimate parts of you|| 
And then almost innately my sensual sense stored within my innermost part

Stored for safekeeping…For reserve…

Reserved for this time when our bodies are no more entwined. My body not yours. Your body not mine.

I close my eyes… my head to one side

I can feel your strong hands

rubbing – caressing and handling me

If I dare to part my thighs to, try to recapture,

I can still feel each stroke - deep and wide - But like the wings of a dove ~ a flutter ~ so gentle inside

I see you in motion…

The like of a jaguar as he mounts his prey

You are part of me – and I – I am part of you

Do you find me as I find you?... Delightfully delectable. Yeeeeees baby, I know you do\ poodle

Excerpt "Having Tea with My Sisters"